333 ep

by døves

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1.
one 01:50
2.
two 01:48
[i feel certain i am going mad again. i feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. and i shan't recover this time. i begin to hear voices, and i can't concentrate. so i am doing what seems the best thing to do. you have given me the greatest possible happiness. you have been in every way all that anyone could be. i don't think two people could have been happier...] clasped hands, sacraments blue eyed silence dead skin, mindless torn portrait cold breath, poison you said always i'm not who you think i am i'm not who you think i am [if anybody could have saved me, it would have been you] blood on my arm, cut in my skin search for a heart, it's all in my head can't find a pulse, again and again you're bleeding me out by letting me in, letting me in and i wanna die (no love) i wanna leave (no hope) fucking tethered (no change) can't feel a thing
3.
three 02:45
life's just a promise i made to someone and i can't wait to break it i'm drowning in my head so i try to stay numb i know you hate it i'm breathing hard and my body aches you come around just to go away i don't wanna talk, i don't wanna wait why should i stay if i don't wanna stay? eyes closed, die slow no heart, no home take my body away from me no sleep, wrist meet razor blade and i can't even breath on my own when i try to sleep at night god you don't even know oh god you don't even know i'm breaking ice on a frozen lake i'm getting lost in a darker place i'll take as much as i wanna take and i won't slow down til i forget your name i'm giving up on another day percocet to keep the pain at bay all my dead friends get this hennessey and i just wanna close my eyes so i can fly away eyes closed, die slow no heart, no home take my body away from me no sleep, wrist meet razor blade and i can't even breath on my own when i try to sleep at night god you don't even know oh god you don't even know
4.
four 02:47
i've been drinking for like six days i can’t feel your hands on my face drowning in the bottle like a lake clawing at the surface what’s a life with no purpose? and i don’t wanna speak your name voices in my head, try to keep them at bay i tried to feel, but all i got was pain i tried to love, but i’m too good with hate i’m caught up in my ways i don’t wanna live just to see another day i don’t wanna dream just to see it fade away i don’t wanna go if you stay i wanna meet death i can’t wait i’m tryna find an altered state i don’t wanna leave just to be alone i don’t wanna feel like i can’t feel anymore i don’t wanna dream when i wake up cold i don’t wanna be who i am anymore i don’t wanna try, i’m so tired tonight i don’t have a heart that can let in the light i don’t wanna be who i am anymore i don’t wanna be who i am anymore my heart is a tomb, but my body’s at peace i can’t even speak when i hear you breathe you don’t want to make any time for me you don’t want to take any lines from me i can’t even speak when i hear you breathe i can’t even breathe when i try to sleep i can never sleep til i find some peace but i won’t find peace til my heart stops beating
5.
five 01:28
i should sober up i should give a fuck i should quit trying my luck i should find love quit tryna buy drugs i should try searching for a pulse try to chase that feeling i miss so much try to feel anything for anyone try to feel the pain that i've made so numb i'm summoning the clique in the back of the club i spent enough time on the backroads mindset like wine, now my eyes low hands pulling at the wheel like I’m tryna find god no breaks, snow tires, no love found a party in the hills, fuck it let's go need to buy some pills, try to let go stomach turning like time when i hate my life can’t feel my eyes, can’t feel my eyes

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released March 4, 2019

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døves Los Angeles, California

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