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1. |
fuck
03:02
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wicca
i put pain inside of pain
feeling doesn’t go away
i could never love again
i miss audrey in la
yeah i’m hurt and i don’t change
tell me what you want me to say
i feel restless yet again
i don’t want my heart to break
trauma spread across the plane
needing help and needing space
try to help me but you can’t
somethings always in the way
i put pain inside of pain
feeling doesn’t go away
i could never love again
i miss audrey in la
døves
i put hate inside of hate
i might never be the same
i can’t feel anything
i don’t think i’m going to change
the feeling’s never here to stay
i’m drinking just to kill the pain
guess i’ll wait another day
like i miss nickie in pa
i’m under club lights, just trying to take my life
if the drug's right, i think that i could get by
keep the plug tight, and keep my heart on ice
chasing sunrise, pills got my tongue tied
but it’s alright
keep saying that it’s alright
i’m not breathing
i took another one just to chase the feeling
death’s coming for me i can feel it
i can feel it
i can feel it
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2. |
die slow
03:23
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døves
crush it up, white lies
i was in the club, you were outside
smoke tearing at my lungs, liquor pulling at my eyes
and the clique is in the back, switchblade at my side
list changed overnight
like who the fuck is that side stage
i can't fuck with them if we weren’t friends on myspace
i took another just to try and kill my heart ache
took another just to try and calm my heart rate
wicca
pull me back babe
letting my guard down again i’m in a bad place
feel the pressure adding up
i can never get enough
it’s how i can be in love and still my heart breaks
time
vanishing again
i saw this before
still i don’t know how it ends
these feelings aren’t me
forgetting how to breath
you think i need to sleep
i think that you know best
døves
depressed, hi-tech
in time, i’m spent
the drugs. the stress
those nights, i bled
no love, no rest
no hope, no bed
in time, i’m spent
no life, i’m death
wicca
when it’s adding up
and i sever ties
i apologize
everything i’ve done
what i’ve never said
is i’ll never love
anyone again
i’m not anyone
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3. |
doom
01:02
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døves
broken messiah
i’m dreaming heavy baby, please don’t leave the light on
liquor’s pulling at my eyes,
so it’s either a knife in my back or a bag in my hand tonight
another four milligrams tonight
i’ll bleed it out by the candlelight
my whole life, suspended in time
a needle in my arm over a needle in my eye
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4. |
escape
03:52
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wicca
fallen angel hold my hand
fallen angel wake me up
and help me to relax the bonds that hold me tethered
and leave me on my back
i call to you
the night is mine
i walk it back
fallen angel hold my hand
fallen angel take what’s mine
døves
(hold my hand, take what’s mine)
you wake me up just to draw me in
yeah i’m something like your cigarette
pulling off of each other’s breath
“close your eyes just settle, settle”
hold my hand, lift me up
i’m drowning in the light of a dying sun
don’t hold your breath, hold your tongue
i pray for death, i pray for love
but it never comes
you told me “close your eyes, just settle”
they’ll make it through the night if you let them
i’m so sick of carving names into headstones
consider this an open letter
hennessy and percocet
someone’s standing on my chest
she put her hands around my neck
no sleep, no rest
white lies, tongue tied
so tired, so tired
met the plug back at cha cha
i’m just tryna see heaven
i’ve spent enough time on the backroads
sipping red wine, pulling black smoke
so pick me up and let me go
you’re my great escape, you’re my only home
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5. |
feel
01:51
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wicca
starting from the top i miss you
i take issue with my heart
falling over situations
see my character as flawed
grab onto her and i tell her i’m not trying to make it hard
baby i’ll check in on you
if you check on me too
now and sudden i’ve become the opposition to the light
there is adam separated from the balance in his life
6 times
6 ties
6 shadows in the night
cruel angel starts to sing
and i feel everything
(feel me)
døves
(i can’t feel a thing, but i still feel the beat)
you got me breathing hard under club lights
i don’t care if i don’t see the sunrise
i can feel the music from the other side
i’ve been gbc like my whole life
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6. |
before u sleep
04:33
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wicca
i said i would change
i cannot change
talk of synchronicities i can’t explain
i thought it was fine
maybe it’s pain
toxic insecurities i can’t escape
now i’m writing out checks for mistakes i’ve made
and i’m messaging you back way too late
do you wonder what pain keeps me awake>
i take all that i can take
when there’s combat inside
can we go inside
i’m drawn into something that i can’t describe
the slightest of blame
cuts like knives
try to reposition where priorities lie
i committed no crime under crimson skies
and a radiant bath keep me alive
emotional ends meet me again
it’s a saturn return i won’t survive
døves
codeine and bad dreams,
i just want to ride in the backseat
i’m so strung out but i can’t sleep
this is not love, it’s atrophy
yeah i took a pill why you asking me
i just want to die in the backseat
i always think of you when i can’t sleep
worlds away from everything
this is not love, it’s atrophy
i’m worlds away from everything
saturn’s rings
i can’t feel a thing
why does everything
turn into catastrophe
i can’t feel a thing
empathy, sympathy
anything, anything
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7. |
L2LU
03:01
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døves
smoke’s burning up my lungs, pulling at my eyes
and i don’t want to feel your tears in my bed tonight
i don’t want to turn my back on your heart of knives,
but i don’t want to talk
yeah i got a secret,
i don’t want to keep it
did you really love me?
do you you really mean it?
did you really feel it?
i don’t want to go back,
i don’t want to need it
(here i am alone, heart of knives)
(backing off, i and i, i and i)
wicca
synchromistic and confusing
time folds on itself
baby will you leave the light on
secret sun blog
secrets i can’t tell
hoping that i’m not unconscious
just unknowing
i don’t even know myself
symbols here have left me wanting and uneasy
i know nothing else
i say that i love you way too many times
i thought i could go without, baby i lied
think of us in lifetimes
springs eternal doves cry
shadows in the background
cover my eyes
here i am alone i wander
three computers
wallow in all i’ve felt
got my arms tied behind my back
i come to the altar by myself
døves
i thought i saw you in a
dream tonight, but i
i’m not really sure it was you
thought i felt you in the trees tonight
but i, i’m the one tying the noose
probably misreading the ruins
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8. |
anna
04:01
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døves
flesh on flesh, percocet on deck
i remember you were climbing on top of me
i don’t want you in my head, i just need you in my bed
you got me breathing hard but i don’t want to slow down
i don’t want to turn in
i don’t wan to go back to the places i’ve been
i just want to choke on all the smoke from your lips
i think i could die like this,
fucking painless
white lies, living like døves
i just want to die in the back of the club
so hand me another pill, you know i’ll fly with you
pour another drink i’m not stopping you
broken windows and broken promises
broken limbs and cut skin, we got cops on us
it’s children of the night, you can’t stop the gothboiclique
that’s my kin, i only fly with them
wicca
yeah it’s hard to stay
harder going back
it’s shallow how i pray to you, isis
be careful what you say...
with patience and with tact
i’m always in the way
fucking up your day...
tell me why it always end like this
adam’s not okay
emotionally trapped...
babe i’m in the back
i don’t like to think about my living room
hollow cuz i never get to look at you
baby there’s no option
reborn in a dark bath
have i been forgotten
tethers of a string...
holding onto me
doesn’t mean a thing
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9. |
night
03:05
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wicca
tell me why it feels so real
the lacking of all but debt
a painful death
and suddenly i’m out of the trap
i was really with you in the back
i swear on that
had some bad nights that are through
maybe shouldn’t speak so soon
three times six
gothboiclique
dressed all black
club light bath
last kiss
døves
will it materialize?
i’ve been waiting like my whole life to lock innocent eyes
and i’ve been waiting like this whole night for the sun to rise
something somber in my mind like
i’m the chemical kind
so kill me quickly, keep me off your mind
i want to feel you in my lungs like the smoke in my eyes
time will pull me back to that place overnight
i’m already dead, i’m the chemical kind
so leave me all alone, i’m not worth the time
god, time is fleeting
my heart’s so young
every night i’m bleeding
suffocating for someone
give me switchblades for the heartache
give me goth raves for the heartbreak
u4k, keep it 4k
it’s gothboiclique til my soul take
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10. |
release
03:53
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døves
i just want to see if i can still bleed,
marks on my arm and my heart on my sleeve
why won’t anybody listen to me
the salt in my lungs, the blood on my knees
i travel alone in the trees
service roads, sweet release
i’m heavy handed, climbing peaks
fire walk with me, come find me
wicca
my heart keeps breaking
i keep forgetting
this shadow has a hold on me and keeps on taking
and it’s so upsetting
and i keep shaking
emphatically admitting all mistakes i’m making
i’m not counting what i’ve got
i am dying and i’m not
only time i feel alive is when you make the feelings stop
yet i know i have it
but i still need it
i said i love her
and i still mean it
i’m not counting what i’ve got
i am dying and i’m not
only time i feel alive
wicca & døves
guaranteed to tell you i’m in love
(and a heart of gold)
i’m proving what i’ve already done
(won’t bring you home)
trouble tryna turn it on or off
(so you’ll sleep alone)
i just wanna show that i’m enough
(you’re not enough)
i don’t want to bother you again
(and your empty lungs)
i don’t wanna tell you how i’m lost
(your hollow tongue)
i just want the suffering to end...
(won’t be enough, just don’t give up on your love)
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11. |
silence
04:15
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wicca
child i’m sorry but the death scythe’s sweeping again
hard is the sorrow of my past year
start to the end
in reaching out to you it’s best i keep to myself
i’m not a stranger to the dark kind of love let me in
i feel the pressures of this dark love to have and to hold
audrey my baby this our love soul within soul
feel the pressure come on
so fully, come on
not guilty about
what i have become
a shadow of god so consumed by my whole life
and casting a charm that will cast me in blacklight
keep my promises i will show you a place
where emotion rules all and i’m keeping you tongue tied
it’s ultraclub
the place where you’re beside me in a peerless love
i’m raving to connect myself right back to you
i sacrifice because it’s what i have to do
and giving you myself just doesn’t seem enough
døves
i know what i said
i’m chasing a hole in the back of my head
yeah i want to go without even knowing
got no time to choke on the words that i missed
oh he’s so missed, couple thousand on my wrist
covered up the scars that you left me with
i’m feeding on the darkness that you left me in
picture perfect hearts drawn in cut skin,
your name’s sewn in
lips silent
eyes sewn shut
eternal rot
i missed that text,
feel like cold hart in that all black benz
feel like a god when it all soaks in
oxy, percocet
bourbon on my lips
i struggle with the red
how could i forget;
i’m stuck with a ghost of the past in my head
i’m stuck with these pills that i don’t want to take
i know i’ma die anyway,
why can’t it be today?
tell me what should i regret?
is it all the bottles that i left in your bed?
or is all the pain that i hold in my chest?
is it in the room right now?
is it true?
is it something that i said?
i know what i said
i’m chasing a hole in the back of my head
yeah i want to go without even knowing
got no time to choke on the words that i missed
oh he’s so missed, couple thousand on my wrist
covered up the scars that you left me with
i’m feeding on the darkness that you left me in
picture perfect hearts drawn in cut skin,
your name’s sewn in
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12. |
join me
03:06
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wicca
from the small of your back
i go straight to the past
may the strength of my heart
help my head to relax
see me wrestle, see me gone
unrelenting, moving on
there’s a crisis, casting shadows
i’m in need and no response
i think i should be dead
and rather i’m alive and feeling half of that
and looking for new meaning, where’s the pattern at
i say i’m tied up it’s with distractions at best
i try to lighten up, i’m a disaster at that
it’s hard to describe
why every time i wake up you see dread in my eyes
and when i feel the trauma that’s it’s hard to forget
another kind of longing in the back of my mind
i’m tired
forever
døves
i’m a black hole at best,
eternally in search of some rest
dark figures at the edge of my bed
i don’t want to try anymore, it’s over
i wrestle hard with my debt
30 milligram percocet
dark presence on my thoughts i’m a wreck
i know you can’t understand, it’s all good i’m over it
dovescry on the beat
sowet on my neck, gbc
i’m trying hard just to breathe
i’m trying hard just to feel anything
cold hart on my tee
fish narc on my sleeve
mackned, jp, yawnscult, lil peep
wicca phase, horse and tracy
it’s gothboiclique, come join me
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13. |
lost
03:14
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wicca
only half alive in days
i was missing in my nights
i was thinking about you nonstop
feelings are in flames
i knew something wasn’t right
i don’t tell you i’m in pain
baby look me in the eyes
who is helping me to sleep
or celebrating me
these feelings aren’t mine
i used to be around you when you’d act i react
see i want more baby but i can’t do that
and my head hurts baby can you read my mind
i’ve got a restless feeling that i can’t describe
under attack and i’m lost in the night
i’m yours
hope you
are mine
døves
the timing is off again,
i’m in berlin off an ativan
struggling for oxygen
heavens gate, heaven sent
struggling to waste my time
something that i’ve felt my whole life
something that i lost in your eyes
something that i can’t say
heavy head
heavy-handed
heavy water,
i’d rather be sleeping
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14. |
light
03:32
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døves
under club lights, i can see it in your eyes
you’re conflicted and you’re falling away from me
just give it some time, i can swear that i’ll try
i’m addicted and it’s pulling at my heart strings
love brings dead dreams,
four white walls and an iv
i’m tearing at my skin, come find me
i’m somewhere in the smoke and the light beams
i’m somewhere in the back with the clique
in a bag of some shit that i don’t really want to hit tonight
i’m pulling the smoke from your lips, put your dagger to my wrist
cuz i don’t really want to live tonight
the sunrise in your eyes
something i’ve been chasing like my whole life
something just to make me feel alright
i’ve been through the dark, let me see the light
wicca
why does health fail
why do i cry
why did lilith sink her teeth into my whole life
die with døves here
hear the doves cry
i can see you and i can’t, that’s a bad sign
where did i go
what is lost time
i can hold you but i can’t, why do i try
darkness looming over me and i don’t mind
i am not here
when was last night
i love her and then some
and nobody else
though constantly mourning i can’t help myself
i want it and all ways
call me and by all names
the cloak i’m immersed in leaves me overwhelmed
see me breathing down the neck of the other side
i am not sick
i am not fine
am i still here
when did i die
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15. |
rytm
03:34
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wicca
had to be a rhythm that our hearts could match to
now i think we’re both aligned
i feel synchronicities that need to be addressed
i have to
now i know your mind’s my mind
i know when you’re stressed
i know when you’re next to death
i’m next to death i’d die
i guarantee death
and never will you need to ask
if life’s spent by your side
something lingers in the mind today
duplicity of understanding what you like
and never understanding what is mine to take
tell me what it means for me to get my way
but if i never told you you can take from mine
so please take my life
have and hold what i give tonight
bad mistakes and love come your way
struggle to become what you like
døves
and there’s something in the way that you hold my breath
could i ever be alone with you in my head?
yeah you’re caught up in your ways, sick and restless again
anxious and stressing again
are you proud of me yet?
i’m tired
(make it look like an accident)
of trying
(take another just to try all your luck again)
hiding like a coward in the smoke
from the fire in my lungs
all the bones that i broke to get you
to wake up
to notice
to breathe in
the ocean
i was once here with you
now i walk alone in the shadow of my youth and wonder
how did i get here
and where did it all go
and how come i can’t feel
all i used to
everything’s fleeting
and i want to go home now
but i can’t remember
where it is that i came from
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16. |
imy
02:58
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døves
wrists all red
i don’t know what to say, it’s in my head
i don’t know how to live better than this
veins full off alcohol, benzo and lexapro
i’m trying to make it out of my head
i’m falling away from you again
i’m just a negative, shut in, and wasted kid
like i’ve been living this all of my years
but all of my tears couldn’t bring you back
and i miss you, but i don’t know how to reach out to you
(i used to see you so clear now i can’t anymore)
(i used to feel you in my dreams now you’re out of my head)
and i miss you, but i don’t know how to reach out to you
wicca
i thought it was out of my hands
i felt no space was a safe space
not to be a drag
i’m really okay
it’s really not that bad..
something that i hate of myself
if i need something i don’t say so
døves cry on the beat
i’m flying away
i can’t even speak
it’s catching up to me
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17. |
strange
02:49
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døves
you’re so strange in your ways
caught up in the pain and the hate
i’m just here to rave in la
i’m just here to dig a grave in la
can you play the game?
i’m so strange in my ways
chasing death every day when i wake
i’m living through the pain and the hate
put your feelings on hold, put your hands on my waist
isn’t it strange?
i don’t want to stay
i don’t want to talk, i don’t want to do anything
and i don’t think that i’ll change
think i should run away
think i should end it all with the long colt .38
is that okay?
can i just suffocate?
took one too many last month, tried to fade away
death’s a coward, scared to take me away
death’s a coward, he wont call my name
he won’t seal my fate
you’re so strange in your ways
caught up in the pain and the hate
i’m just here to rave in la
i’m just here to dig a grave in la
can you play the game?
i’m so strange in my ways
chasing death every day when i wake
i’m living through the pain and the hate
put your feelings on hold, put your hands on my waist
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18. |
fly
03:42
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døves
you’re coming over, but it never was enough
and i tried to keep it down, but i feel it coming up
666, draw your sigil in my arm
it’s all blood, there’s no love
withdrawn, like i’m missing all the drugs
my heart aches, might’ve lost too much blood
and i’ve felt enough pain, put me in benz truck
i’ve felt enough pain, all my friends in the mud
tell me, have you ever loved?
tell me, would you stop if your heart kept breaking?
will i ever be enough? (tell me)
just leave me all alone, think it’s all i’ve ever wanted
tell me, are you making plans? (tell me, would you hold my hand?)
i want to call back, but my voice keeps shaking
i’ll tell you that i’m breaking down
this world’s too cold and my heart’s so empty
doves cry i want to fly away
like if i can’t get out then i might die today
but gigi told me it’s love always
gigi told me it’s love always
doves cry i want to fly away
just another percocet to take the pain away
but gigi told me it’s love always
i only fly with you, it’s love always
wicca
see you know you’re in the back of my head
and you know i’d love you more but i can’t
so emotions start to pile on
got another few seconds left to spare
and another just to catch my breath
guess we’re finally gonna see where i will land
guess it’s time to pick what side i’m on
i’d be happy being yours to command
i will lift you up when i’m strong enough
i can see your eyes without being there
i can feel your claws in my arm
i can feel the cracks in my heart
i’m not scared
i can hear you getting settled at night
now i’m deeper than i ever had planned
i’ve been high on you a while now
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19. |
better
03:37
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blood on the razor
rei ayanami in that eva
i could be your savior
i could be your raver
4k in a paycheck
switchblade on my waist
can’t wait to get wasted
i’m so impatient
i just want to die in the basement
couple pills on me cuz i hate this
constant engagement
i’m disassociating again
and i just want to end it
i just want to know
if you really feel at home
i’ve been thinking i’d be better off alone
to save you from the pain
anxiety and hate
you deserve everything everything
i don’t really know
if you really want to stay
if i really want to go
cleanse the world of my name
i hope that you’re home
i hope that you’re safe
cuz i’ve been chasing death
strung out in la
do you think you’re better off alone?
cuz i just want to go, i just want to go
i just want to go, i don’t have a home
i already know that ima die alone
time and time again
i’m pulling at my skin
blood on the white gold on my wrist
i’m opening the scars that you left me with
i’m still opening my heart just to let you in
drowning in oxygen
i’m still irrelevant
i took a clip again
feeling immaculate
blue 30 percocet
blue hundreds pocketed
but wrists all red, wrists all red
i just want to know
if you really feel at home
i’ve been thinking i’d be better off alone
to save you from the pain
anxiety and hate
you deserve everything everything
i don’t really know
if you really want to stay
if i really want to go
cleanse the world of my name
i hope that you’re home
i hope that you’re safe
cuz i’ve been chasing death
strung out in la
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20. |
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cremation lily
i lay awake at night,
trace the outline
of your body like
this is our last night
i remember the light
washed away that time
suffocate in my bed,
drowning is not death
døves
i tried i tried i tried
i’m still drowning on the inside
filled my lungs in the tides
and now i lie awake at night
just dreaming of another life
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